


Junk Mail from the Princess

by Pat_Nussman



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 20:56:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15203309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pat_Nussman/pseuds/Pat_Nussman
Summary: A just-for-fun letter in direct mail style.





	Junk Mail from the Princess

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Okay, this is just a bit of silliness, but it's one I still get a big kick out of. One of the guilty secrets of my past is that from about 1981-1993, I worked as a direct mail copywriter, then marketing manager organizing direct mail (i.e. junk mail) packages. Yes, I was responsible for some of that crud in your mailbox. Since I was in the business, it seemed like it would be fun to write a direct mail piece to raise money for the Rebel Alliance…

IT COULD HAPPEN ON YOUR WORLD--AT ANY TIME!

Dear Gentlebeing:

Have you ever looked up at a peaceful nighttime sky to wonder what that strange shape or shadow is? An innocent weather satellite...A freighter delivering a cargo of spice...or...

...Or another Death Star, orbiting _your_ planet?

Yes, your world could be next...blown into nothingness by a ruthless and tyrannical government. And you and your loved ones with it.

Like Alderaan.

Only the Alliance to Restore the Republic can stop this tragedy from happening to you. By fighting to free you and your family from a government which perpetuates monstrosities like the Death Star. By working against the Emperor and his Dark Sith to restore the Old Republic to you, with all that means: a truly representative government, local autonomy, and the protection of the legendary Jedi.

But revolution doesn't come cheaply. We need troops, weapons, ships, supplies. We need your help.

For just a few credits a standard month, paid in easy installments, you can help the Alliance protect you and your family. Your credits can feed, clothe, and supply the valiant troops fighting to protect your rights--your life\--from the mindless cloned troops the Emperor sends against subject worlds' like yours. 

The amount involved is little. But to your world it could mean so much. Think of the price of not fighting...worlds destroyed at a whim. Maybe your world. Maybe tomorrow. 

Please act now. Fill in the enclosed pledge card, along with your first credit voucher, made out to the Alliance to Restore the Republic. Support the Alliance's efforts to free the galaxy. It's such a little thing to contribute to your future...

...to your world.

Sincerely,

 

The Princess Leia Organa

World Family of Alderaan, Vice Chairman of the Alliance Council

P.S. If you act within 10 standard days, you'll receive a genuine, personally autographed holo of Luke Skywalker, the last of the old Jedi and founder of the new order which will protect you in the New Republic! This full-color holo shows Skywalker in a heroic, manly pose, with lightsabre ablaze. But act now--this offer is limited!


End file.
